no kidding

Chess player on the 16th Street Mall.

I can still remember that numb feeling I had for an eternity as the boat took its second bounce off the water and my body fell slowly to the side, a limp doll now. The world moved in slow motion as I found my lungs again and gasped for air, aware that something was terribly wrong. That was one of the longest moments of my life; the time I fractured my spine in Florida in seventh grade. It was the briefest of moments before the pain seized my body- it was that timeless millisecond where everything moved so slowly and the world seemed to be almost frozen completely. Almost, but for the graceful spray that came off the bow and caressed my face.
Was it that very moment that screwed me for the rest of my life? Is it because of that freakish accident that I now have to undergo physical therapy daily? That I now joke that I am 20 going on 70? No effing kidding.
It’s not something I can’t deal with for now, but what about in 10 years? If today I paused at least once to ride out a wave of lightning pain that streaked down my leg, then what will I be doing in 10 years? Probably using a walker. Ha. No effing kidding.

When I was younger, I used to see myself as older than I really was. When I was a pre-teen by definition, I was really part-way through my high school years, and by the time I was getting my license, I was coasting through my mid thirties, and now… Now I’m old, dears, I’m old with out the age.
My birthday is in June-I’ll finally be turning 21.
Hopefully my knees will hold out until then.