Wednesday, July 29, 2009

moments

I've been working on capturing moments. Here are a few from a 4-H English Horse Class competition on Sunday that I shot for RH.



Barb Housman scolds Knight Vision for bucking his head Sunday while she attempts to lather his face with soap as she prepares him for the 4-H English Horse Classes at The Ranch in Loveland.

Sarah Hofkamp, 17, left, and Marilyn Immeke, right, examine Max before the Horse Showmanship class.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

take me to the heart of you

I just filled up my most recent journal. I started this one October 18, 2008. Ran out of pages today. Here is my second to last entry:

July 9, 2009

Stop the presses.
What will people say when there aren't any presses to stop any more?
Stop the twitterfeed!

Today the internship woman asked me what my broader goals in life are.
The Big Question.
I had no real answer for her. My answer went something like, "to find a way to tell my stories".
I never thought that I could ever get paid if I chose the path of a photojournalist. I didn't even associate with that title. I thought maybe someday I would be able to call myself a photographer, but the name "photojournalist" never crossed my mind.

There are times like tonight, when the moon is low over the eastern horizon, a fading full moon, and the sky is just clearing up after a transient rain... At times like this I just want to drive forever. Stretch my arm out, spread my fingers and let the wind envelop it and feel the movement of the earth as it slides away, finally blending into one horizon.

I remember sitting in the stairwell on a train rumbling through sticky, humid, lush Thailand. I sat there for a long time and I could have stepped forward and tumbled off the train, rolling to a stop somewhere between Bangkok and Chang Mai. I thought to myself, I could never do this in America as the train made its steady way towards the bustling center of the country.
I've got a feelin'...
I saw a fox tonight darting through the shadows, pausing at the foot of my neighbor's stairs, as if concerned that it was so quiet. He was a whisper in the night. I pulled forward in my car and sat at the stop sign, watching the same fox trotting only 15 feet from me. He turned his head and I noticed he had company. They sniffed the air together and then quickly moved on to the next house with such a sense of urgency that the act seemed only natural in a big city. But as they scampered off into the night I could feel my heart break.
I've never been able to fully relate to people. Part of it is because I've always understood most people better than they know themselves. And the other part is that they write love songs about each other.
I fall in love every day.
I fall in love with strangers I've never met, with people I will never know. I fall in love with fleeting moments that most people never see. The most perfect light can make my stomach drop, and the most subtle smile, movement, or interaction between a person and their environment can make me weak in the knees. It's that split second-that moment within a moment-where someone's true self is revealed. That.
That is what I live for. That is what drives me. That is why I get up in the morning, and that is what I write love songs about.

Her lilting voice can barely be heard over the din of the coffee house, but I can feel it. I can make out her smooth anthem even as the door opens beside me, bringing in noisy customers who are enthralled in each other and alive with the night. I stand there frozen with the New York Times slipping from my limp fingers and I feel my body begin to sway automatically to the timeless song as the words softly weave themselves through the ambient noise and sing to my soul,
"At last, my love has come along, and my lonely days are over, and life is like a song."
And I know that she understands that longing and suddenly I realize that we're not so different after all.

My best friend and her dad on her birthday in March.

Friday, July 24, 2009

my way

I'm going to start a newspaper that is going to be photos before design, and the best photos ALWAYS get priority... For example, if the best photo is not the most literal photo, it doesn't matter, it runs.
It's going to be great. And I'm going to call it..... The... Rocky Mountain News.

Oh wait.


Nancy Schindler vacuums the new carpet in the hall Friday outside of the sanctuary of the Loveland Bible Church. Schindler has found solace after the passing of her husband a few years ago in helping to restore the building which will be 100 years old on August 9. Schindler says she found herself coming back to Loveland Bible after trying other churches and has recieved a lot of support through the community commenting, "it really feels like a family."



Denise Moberg, 18, shares a moment with her dog Dakota before competing in the 4-H Dog Agility Show Friday in the Ranchway Feeds Indoor Arena at The Ranch in Loveland. Moberg, who has been competing for five years, says she does it for Dakota, "he'd be pretty bored if I didn't do 4-H."

Thursday, July 23, 2009

new love

I have fallen in love and it comes in the form of 17-35, 2.8

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

cancer

Last night I went to Comedy Works to see my friend Ian do some stand up. During the show, one of the comedians had a joke involving newspapers and to start it off he said,
“Ok, ok, who in here reads newspapers?”
I of course hooted from the corner, but out of a packed house (couple hundred people) it was literally me and about two other people who hollered back. I laughed it off later with my friends who openly admitted that they don’t read newspapers either, but it still hit me.
As journalists it seems that it’s sometimes hard to keep perspective on our business. It’s depressing, yes, but newspapers are dying. Those of us who work for newspapers or who know people that do like to turn a blind eye to that fact more often than not. As photographers especially, it’s hard because the people we photograph are still excited by the idea that their photo might be in the paper always asking feverishly when it will run. It doesn’t cross our minds that many of these people are going to go out of their way to buy a paper just to see if their photo got in or not. Many of them will toss it away after they see their photo did not make the cut and they won’t think twice about it. Many of them don’t normally go out of their way to buy newspapers.
This is a rant that I’ve been holding off from my blog for a while. But for some reason, that smattering of applause proving the demise of (what seems like) the backbone of my field really hit me last night.
I don’t think that all newspapers will die but I do think that most major daily papers will tank with the rest unless they make some drastic changes. We need to take a look around us and assess the situation. Craigslist was a big blow, so facebook, myspace and twitter have also caused issues. The online business model for most newspapers is flawed. Other than the fact that most of them are free, the basic design is awful. Why would you make your online newspaper look exactly like your print one? The internet is a great resource and it’s changed our whole world in a very fundamental way, but while the world was changing, we stayed stagnant. Nobody wants to sift through lists of links, columns and vertical articles broken up with random flashing advertisements that cause us to lose our place, and thus our interest in the article. I believe that the higher-ups are so attached to the old way of doing things they can’t let go. They can’t believe that people will still go to their site for news even if it looks very different from their printed paper. Our own daily here in Denver won’t give up their wire stories. It’s a big leap, I know, to let them go. I understand the financial implications, I understand that it’s cheaper and more comfortable, easier even, to continue to fill almost the entirety of the first section with wire stories.

But let’s get real here. If your friend died of lung cancer because they smoked too much, would you quit smoking? Or would you say, “well, they were weak, I’m better, I’ll survive for a bit longer than they did.” Why can’t we set our sights higher than clinging to the sinking ship? Why can’t we build our own raft? I know it’s terrifying. Who knows anything about building a boat that floats, that will support us all, keep us alive, give us a future? So at what point does our survival become a priority and do we take a leap of faith?
Our daily has some very talented, smart, wonderful, hardworking people at its disposal. I don’t want to see it go down. The thought of Denver without a major daily paper to me is like one of those bad dreams where you’re walking down the halls on the first day of school and you realize you forgot to dress yourself. You’re standing there completely naked and helpless in the middle of everything.
So let’s put our great photographers, writers reporters, editors, designers… let’s put them to work being journalists again. Twitter has pretty much ruined breaking news. If something is big enough, like an apartment or a wild fire, or whatever, we’ll report it. But let’s do it in a way so that people are getting the story again. Why did the apartment light on fire? Who was injured, and where are they now? How did this effect their lives, and what are the broader implications on the community? I think that people who suffer these losses deserve more than a quick paragraph summarizing their tragedy like a movie review. What happened to in-depth reporting? Don’t tell me we can’t afford it. Don’t tell me you’re understaffed. If we’re going to continue to gloss over everything just so we can give the public instant gratification, something we think they want, then we deserve this collapse. Out of the ashes will rise concise, in-depth, thoughtful, provocative journalism that doesn’t feed into this ADD hysteria that has hit the country-the invisible disease of impatience. We complain that people aren’t reading the papers anymore, but are we giving them a reason to pick them up in the first place?
We’ve gotten too comfortable. And let me tell you, there’s nothing comfortable about spending the majority of your days on your knees, holding your breath, waiting for the perfect moment to happen in front of you so you can capture it forever. If I’m going to spend my days bruising my knees, I think I better make the most out of it. Enough with the stupid 30-second videos that are slapped together by writers and photographers who have no idea what they are doing. What’s the point?
We don’t give people enough credit; we’re not giving them the chance to prove that they can stand something longer, more thoughtful. The assumption is that something is better than nothing. When did it come to this?
Our world is changing. Our planet is changing, and so we must follow suit. If we do not, we will not survive the night. Who’s going to step forward? Who’s going to say that they’ve had enough of this? I want respect again. I want respect. But respect must be earned, so what will you do to get it back? What will I do?
It’s not about the money. There is no money. So let’s make a choice. Let’s choose to strive not for survival but for life. We must listen to those that have been beaten down and fired because they used to do it the “old fashioned way” which was taking more time to get it right the first time. Listen, learn and follow.
We don’t have to go down with the ship. We can build a raft. And we can do it together.

I hate to end it with a god quote but it makes sense, whether you’re religious or not,

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
-Lenny Bruce


This is from a story I did for RH in Loveland about a group of Ukrainian orphans that were putting on a traditional dinner with a silent auction to raise money for the program they came in with. I was supposed to get photos of them cooking (which I did) but I decided to follow one of them outside when she went to feed the chickens and caught her right after she took off her shoes to go back in the house.

Friday, July 10, 2009

the tipping point.

Everyone knows them. The dreaded Almost photos.

I have discovered recently that I tend to learn everything backwards. I decided to become a photojournalist after photographing in Haiti. I learned how to navigate foreign lands, communicate non-verbally with people of a completely different culture AND take their photo before I was even trained at all to shoot like a photojournalist. Photography itself I'm still learning backwards. I learned how to shoot through trail and error and intuition before I understood how a camera actually worked. French is similar to me. I learn better speaking with people who are fluent and then learning the grammar and structure after I know how to speak.

So one might say that right now I'm learning the photojournalistic technique backwards, I'm not really sure if there's a set way to do it, but I think I'm doing it the hard way.
I've realized that I shoot for the composition and the light, and moments come after. It was something I was doing unconsciously until a few weeks ago when I realized what I was doing. Now I'm trying to put moments first on my priority list. I realized that I could be on the tipping point, because right now the majority of my photos are Almosts, which kills me.
Hopefully I will teeter and fall in the right direction.
Stay tuned.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

day and night

Two very different photos that I took over the weekend.




johnny

I started a new story this week.

I'm excited about it


Friday, July 3, 2009

a loveland update

I have been interning at the Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald all summer. Mostly it's a lot of feature stuff. I did cover my first spot news event though- a bad car crash. And recently I was sent to a highly emotional situation in Fort Collins.

I went up to cover a story on a company in Loveland that just unveiled their new hybrid that gets 100mpg. Of course they were still scrambling to get it ready for the next day when I photographed it, so here's what ran:


In contrast, I was next sent to cover a protest that was happening at the court house in Ft. Collins. There was a group of victims' families gathering to protest a hearing that was being held for a sex offender. He was requesting a furlough from jail so that he could tend some property matters and so that he could organize his belongings. He was a psychologist who sexually abused a number of his patients. All of them were mentally disabled in some way. I missed the protest and decided to stay for the hearing so that I could possibly get some photos after in the hallway. It was decided by the judge that he had a couple of weeks to gather letters from family and friends which would prove they couldn't help him while he was in jail. Then they would meet again and decide in July. The families were furious.
After everyone was dismissed, they came out into the hall pacing and visibly upset. I've never been in a situation so intimate yet so removed from the people. So I introduced myself and asked if it was okay for me to take photos and they said yes. The image below is of one of the victims being comforted by a community supporter. The girl being consoled was sexually assaulted by him when she was only 8 years old. It wasn't until it came out during a therapy session 2 years ago that anyone knew. Also, the victim who I will not name did come out publicly. So it would be okay to name her, but I didn't think it was necessary.
This is not the image that we ran. This one has motion blur, but I think I like it best: